Comments on: A True Identity is Nothing to Fear http://eyeofparadox.wordpress.com/2008/05/13/a-true-identity-is-nothing-to-fear/ in the ashes of ideas hides the spark of understanding Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:03:53 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: loriannetucson http://eyeofparadox.wordpress.com/2008/05/13/a-true-identity-is-nothing-to-fear/#comment-23 loriannetucson Wed, 14 May 2008 12:56:24 +0000 http://eyeofparadox.wordpress.com/?p=54#comment-23 And now we're left with singing "There's only us, there's only this, forget regret, or life is your to miss, no other course, no other way, no day but today." Standing and facing this head on has been like being put through a meat grinder, yet I am emerging as something I never knew possible...someone complete,who loves herself, and can see the colors in the daylight. And now we’re left with singing “There’s only us, there’s only this, forget regret, or life is your to miss, no other course, no other way, no day but today.”

Standing and facing this head on has been like being put through a meat grinder, yet I am emerging as something I never knew possible…someone complete,who loves herself, and can see the colors in the daylight.

]]> By: eyeofparadox http://eyeofparadox.wordpress.com/2008/05/13/a-true-identity-is-nothing-to-fear/#comment-22 eyeofparadox Wed, 14 May 2008 05:26:14 +0000 http://eyeofparadox.wordpress.com/?p=54#comment-22 You have reminded me that I did not hide my identity from everyone. I think the first time I showed my real self to someone I was 17, although he thought I was a multiple-personality! He was a fellow drama student and he reintroduced me to role playing games where I ended up creating and playing a female character based on my true self, and he confronted me when I proved much too believable. I used a similar tactic to find friends in college who were accepting enough to introduce my true self to. One of them was a girl who pulled me aside to ask me if I wanted a sex change when I was 19. At the time, it seemed so far outside the realm of possibility I said no. The fear of family rejection was simply too strong. In hind sight, the only thing I had to fear was the fear itself. Before she died, when I finally confided in her, my mom told me she would have supported me if I had told her while I was still a teenager, when my parents could have afforded to help. It was not GID that destroyed my ability to trust the people I need to be able to trust; social and medical ignorance did that. You have reminded me that I did not hide my identity from everyone. I think the first time I showed my real self to someone I was 17, although he thought I was a multiple-personality! He was a fellow drama student and he reintroduced me to role playing games where I ended up creating and playing a female character based on my true self, and he confronted me when I proved much too believable. I used a similar tactic to find friends in college who were accepting enough to introduce my true self to. One of them was a girl who pulled me aside to ask me if I wanted a sex change when I was 19. At the time, it seemed so far outside the realm of possibility I said no. The fear of family rejection was simply too strong.

In hind sight, the only thing I had to fear was the fear itself. Before she died, when I finally confided in her, my mom told me she would have supported me if I had told her while I was still a teenager, when my parents could have afforded to help. It was not GID that destroyed my ability to trust the people I need to be able to trust; social and medical ignorance did that.

]]> By: loriannetucson http://eyeofparadox.wordpress.com/2008/05/13/a-true-identity-is-nothing-to-fear/#comment-20 loriannetucson Wed, 14 May 2008 02:27:34 +0000 http://eyeofparadox.wordpress.com/?p=54#comment-20 Just because I didn't tell anyone about my hidden gender identity until I was 19 doesn't mean that I wasn't having those feelings at a younger age. Like you the stigma of being or dressing effeminate was large enough to scare my poor wounded young spirit into internalizing EVERYTHING for fear of losing everyone. Nice reply. It may very well take a revolution to get these arses off the board. Just because I didn’t tell anyone about my hidden gender identity until I was 19 doesn’t mean that I wasn’t having those feelings at a younger age. Like you the stigma of being or dressing effeminate was large enough to scare my poor wounded young spirit into internalizing EVERYTHING for fear of losing everyone.

Nice reply. It may very well take a revolution to get these arses off the board.

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